I was listening to the news earlier, and there was a discussion about daffodils, particularly rare species of the flower, and a call to report sightings across the UK. When I think of daffodils, I always think of spring, new beginnings, and the end of colder wintry months. However, when I went outside, the temperature felt more like Winter than Spring, as the cold wind felt like it was blowing through my coat!
As I was walking along, without warning, a line from a poem popped into my head. That’s the thing with poems, once you read them, they can sometimes stick with you, hanging about in your unconscious mind, waiting for an opportunity to remind you how amazing they are. The line reflected the weather, and it was from a poem called ‘The Journey’, by one of my favourite poets, Mary Oliver. This is a popular poem, and I think of it as being about courage and self-determination. The line I was reminded of was, ‘… though the wind pried with its stiff fingers….’ This summed up how the wind felt like it was biting through my coat as I hurried along, digging into me with its fingernails. I imagined it as a white and skinny creature, dancing around me with a frosty face.
You might want to read the poem, which is widely available online:
The Journey poem - Mary Oliver
Today, the lines about the wind were important to me although I am often amazed when I talk to people about a poem, by the lines that are most meaningful to them. These might differ to the next person, who might see different things in a poem, and this can change over time. For example, today for me, it was about braving the elements, and the ‘stiff fingers’ of the wind. However, tomorrow, a different line might be in my head, as I am in a different context or situation.
What I like about poems is that they are like friends, who keep me company, through happy times and sometimes as a supporter when I need some encouragement. For example, in this poem, the line ‘…though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice…’ reminds me of times when I have needed to follow my own advice and be determined that what I am doing is the right path for me, not necessarily other people. However, and this is the great thing about poetry, and art more generally, you might have a different interpretation of this poem. It might mean something different to you, depending on your mood or situation at that time. You might even dislike this poem, and it might not speak to you at all, and that’s okay too!
When I talk to people about poetry, it usually provokes different responses although often people are reminded of school days, when they were made to read it out loud. It is sometimes associated with bad memories or seen as ‘highbrow’ and out of reach for some. I suppose it was a little like that for me, for a long time, until I found the kind of poetry I enjoyed. Maybe it is a little like trying on different clothes, or tasting different foods, it can take a while sometimes to find the right ‘fit’. However, once you find the right fit for you, it can leave you wanting more and there are several different websites which house poems from different writers and genres, all readily available. Also, reading poems can help you to write your own, and this can support you to explore your emotions about different topics, and reach different perspectives on things.
If poetry isn’t your thing, you can try some journaling, about things that have happened to you, or to explore your thoughts and feelings on a situation. Journaling includes several activities, designed to support self-expression and exploration. For example, recently it seems to be popular to write about what we are grateful for, to boost self-esteem, change perspective and learn more about ourselves. You can journal about things that have gone well, e.g., helping a friend in need, or perhaps just to explore things you are grateful for in your day-to-day life. This could be as simple as writing a list of things you are thankful for or constructing a letter to someone or a story about something that is meaningful to you. Remember, you don’t need to show it to anyone, unless you choose to. It won’t be open to judgement, or criticism from others. However, it can lead to great insight into what is going on for you and can be something you might want to share with a professional, if you are in a therapy relationship, for example. It can also be helpful to date your writing, so when you read over it in the future, you can see how much has changed or stayed the same.
You might want to write about things that are emotionally significant for you. Writing in this way can help you to explore your thoughts and feelings and how they have affected you. One thing to remember about journaling is that it is not something you have to do every day, if you don’t choose to. Writing about feelings on an ‘as and when’ basis, perhaps when there is something that has been bugging you, can be helpful as a sense making exercise, rather than repeating the same story each day without any shifts in perspective. So, don’t feel guilty if you do not complete your ‘journal’ every day, and in fact, it might not even be helpful to you. Also, always remember to look after yourself. Sometimes journaling can bring up thoughts, feelings or sensations we were not expecting. Try to notice these rather than judge them and engage in a kind curiosity about what is going on for you, rather than a harsh judgement. If you are feeling too uncomfortable about what is coming up for you, start writing about something else instead.
I often get asked whether it is best to journal or write expressively using pen and paper, or on a laptop, phone, or other device. I always say the same thing – it is up to you! It is a personal activity, so whatever works best for you is the best way to go. For me, I love the feel of pen on paper, so when I have lots of time, I choose this option. However, if thoughts suddenly come into my head, I use a phone or other device, to make sure I don’t lose what I want to say. You choose what suits you the best.
I hope you have enjoyed reading this blog and maybe it has inspired you to do some reading and writing of your own. When I woke up this morning, I didn’t know I would end up writing this blog, but that is where today took me! Maybe something that has happened to you today has inspired you to write too?
If you feel like you would like to talk more about writing and journaling, then get in touch. You can contact me directly at kirstenj430@gmail.com or use the contact form on this website.
About the Author:
Kirsten is a BACP registered counsellor, author, and nurse, supporting people to listen to their own needs, leading to growth and change, whatever the situation.
This blog explores my own views and is not directly related to any client I have counselled, either past or present. The views here are not intended to be a replacement for one-to-one therapy, to support your individual needs.